Nature

A Shadow of My Present Self

Steve · January 13, 2020 · 3 Comments

Steve Shadow 2 — Shadow of My Present Self, January 2020. SJG photo.

An image and memory from a recent walk, a poem of reflection and shadow for a mid-winter day…

A Shadow of My Present Self

Walking through the woods near the lake
at the end of a warm winter’s day
the sun so near the horizon
that it sends its golden carpet unfurling
recklessly across the earth,
I catch myself walking beside me.

A shadow thrown
in black-on-orange-on-oak-brown,
A temporary photograph
reminding me who I am at that moment.

Wandering, quiet, willing to be surprised.
Trying hard to see and be aware.
A child, after all these 60 years,
of the source of light
shining in and through and around me.

A ‘New Road or a Secret Gate’

Steve · March 31, 2019 · 22 Comments

Still around the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though we pass them by today,
Tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the moon or to the sun.

from “Upon the Hearth the Fire is Red”
from The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

End of Maintained Trail...keep walking. Sedona, AZ. SJG photo

The poem above is a piece of a larger lyric, sung by Hobbits as a “walking song”’ in J.R.R. Tolkien’s masterpiece, The Lord of the Rings. It has been many years now since I first made my way through Middle Earth with Bilbo, Frodo and the gang, but I admit to thinking of them often when I am out for a hike, especially if the path is not clear or if I am walking it for the first time. For while they knew the general direction they were headed (southeast toward Mordor), the path and the turns were often uncertain. Some turns led to glorious adventure — usually fraught with battles to be fought with the likes of giant spiders or orcs — but adventures nonetheless.

I am very close to beginning a new walk, as retirement from my position at the university looms large (target date: June 14). The question I hear most frequently, you might imagine, is “what are you going to do?” It’s a fair question since, at age 59, I am not technically retirement age (especially when it comes to the intricacies of health insurance…) I get a plethora of advice from those who know me well and those who don’t. Thanks for all that. I hear you all.

Video Post: Psalm for a Day

Steve · March 23, 2019 · 4 Comments

Almost a year ago (March 31, 2018) I posted a reflection about “waiting” during Holy Week, and that post included a new song I composed and performed with my two musical partners, John Caravelli and Phil Cooper. A year later, we now have a video to go with the song, so I thought I would post it here.

Sit with it, pray with it, let it be a reminder that God is present throughout all of our days and nights…

Psalm for a Day

When the morning sun
Defeats the darkest night
I will hope in you, Lord
I will hope in you.
When the sparrow flies
And the flower blooms
I will hope in you, Lord
I will hope in you.

I will accept the peace beyond
All my understanding
And I will find you there
I will trust in you
I will trust in you.

When the evening calms
And the madness fades
I will look to you, Lord
I will look to you.
When the setting sun
Sheds its final light
I will look for you, Lord
I will look for you.

When the darkness falls
And I close my eyes
I will rest in you, Lord
I will rest in you.
I will rest in you, Lord
I will rest in you.

Words and music by John Caravelli, Phil Cooper and Steve Givens.

The Players

John Caravelli, acoustic guitar and BGVs
Phil Cooper, piano and BGVs
Steve Givens, lead vocals

Life and Death on Display: Midwinter at the Missouri Botanical Garden

Steve · January 11, 2019 · 6 Comments

climatron — The iconic Climatron and its reflecting pools. Opened in 1960, the Climatron was the first geodesic dome to be used as a plant conservatory. It was built following the principles of R. Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic system and has no interior support and no columns from floor to ceiling. It rises to 70 feet in the center, spans 175 feet in diameter at the base, has 1.3 million cubic feet, and encloses approximately 24,000 square feet, according to the Garden’s website. SJG photo.

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.” – John Muir

As I write this, St. Louis is in the midst of a winter snowfall that could leave somewhere between 6-12 inches of snow on the ground. It’s beautiful and all that, but I’m not amused.

Just a week ago, I spent several hours of an unseasonably warm day walking the grounds of one of our region’s storied treasures — the Missouri Botanical Garden, better and forever known to long-time St. Louisans as Shaw’s Garden. Named for the merchant and botanical enthusiast Henry Shaw, an Englishman who came to St. Louis in 1819 as an 18-year-old in search of customers for his hardware and cutlery business on the edge of the American wilderness, the “Garden” is today world renowned for its botanical richness and beauty, its architecture and the botanical knowledge its scientists continue to uncover on the grounds and at sites throughout the world.

A (Very) Short Story: The Question

Steve · November 24, 2018 · 6 Comments

Path — Mallard Lake Trail. Creve Coeur Lake. SJG photo.

He was walking through the autumn-thinned woods, a carpet of fallen yellow beneath his feet. He put one foot in front of the other, the walk more of an obligation to himself than anything else. Sometimes, he thought, he prayed while he walked, but today he could not gather the will. The woods were silent and empty, as was he.

He walked on, stepping over fallen logs and zagging around occasional puddles from yesterday’s rain. Light cut through the upper reaches of oaks and hickories, casting both beams and shadows on the ground before him. A breeze lifted gently off the stream to his left, and he caught a whiff of dead leaves and rotting logs.

And out of nowhere he asked: “Where are you, God, in all of this?”

And a choir responded.

All he had learned from poetry sang out, “God is in the light and shadow.”

All he had learned from music intoned, “listen to the wind blowing through the trees. God is there.”

From study and reading he heard, “God is in everything. Pay attention.”

From his beating heart he knew that God was deep inside him.

He knew all this and yet could not find God. He could not summon a prayer.

Then a still, small voice said, “I am in your question.”

And he smiled and walked on and, knowing that was right, he whispered, “well, amen then.”