Once upon a time I was falling in love
Now I’m only falling apart.
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart.
– Jim Steinman
On April 8, a total solar eclipse made a diagonal cut across parts of Central and North America, with parts of 15 U.S. states within the path of totality. Here in St. Louis, we didn’t get this totality, but were in something like the ninety-ninth percentage and got enough of it to know something strange was happening. Dogs barked and crickets chirped.
Sue and I thought about driving a few hours south to be in that totality but we soon learned we’d be joining thousands and thousands of others flocking to southern Illinois to get a glimpse of this natural phenomenon through those ubiquitous cardboard dark-colored glasses. We took a pass on the expected crowds and the traffic jams and opted instead for finding a quiet place in our own front yard. There, we sat for a few hours and read while we waited for the near-darkness to come. It was time well spent.
The day came and went and we were little changed by it, unlike the ancients who, so were are told, were so freaked out that they thought the world was surely ending. And who could blame them?
But I’m thinking this morning that this eclipse, perhaps, is also a chance for spiritual reflection, an opportunity for us to ask if anything has gotten in between us and God. To paraphrase Jim Steinman’s song, made famous by the Welsh singer Bonnie Tyler in her 1983 single: Are we still falling in love with God or are we falling apart?
There’s a famous poem-prayer about the practicality of this “falling in love,” which is often attributed to Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907-1991), but was actually written, we know now, by Joseph Whelan, SJ. It goes like this:
Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.
For those who believe, that falling in love makes all the sense in the world. But we also know that it can be easy enough to fall out of it if we’re not careful and paying attention. So get out there today and experience the beauty and mystery of the world. And while you’re waiting, offer up a prayer and reflect a bit about what might be getting in the way of your love for God. What else is seizing your imagination? What’s eating up your time and energy? What’s breaking your heart and getting you up and out of bed these days?
On April 8, as the moon moved in between us and the sun once again, so many paused in amazement and wonder. Today, let’s be amazed by the God who waits patiently for us to return. Let’s accept that invitation to fall in love once again. After all, nothing is more practical than that.
Scripture
The Seeds of My Father’s Garden
“But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold. Whoever has ears ought to hear.” (Matthew 13:9)
My father’s garden wasn’t much by the standards of many gardens. It was situated on a small plot of land in the backyard of my North St. Louis home in the 1960s and early ‘70s, planted with love, passion and knowledge gleaned from the pages of Organic Gardening magazine.
It sat at the back of the yard, near the alley, and I can still picture its layout in my mind’s eye, row by row. Onions against the fence, followed by lettuce and cabbage, tomatoes and green peppers, beans growing up the legs of my no-longer-used and rusting swing set, carrots, radishes, and no doubt a few others I can no longer remember.
All organic, and all planted with the knowledge that the soil was (or could be) naturally fertile and ready to accept the seeds or the young seedlings that my father started in our basement during winter under fluorescent lights. If it sounds like I appreciated all his effort and creativity, I didn’t. Not at the time, anyway. I was a kid and saw it as largely wasted space where I couldn’t play ball and poor use of a swing set, even if I didn’t use it all that much anymore. I was told, in so many ways, to keep out.
All these years later, I have a more mature view of what he was trying to do. He was giving us healthy, organic food free of pesticides and herbicides. He was helping us get by on a mailman’s salary and trying to teach us something we could take into adulthood with us. He was giving us something extraordinary amid the ordinary of an urban backyard. He was doing all this to tell us he loved us, even if he could never muster those words.
More than anything, I think he was seeking quiet, sacred moments with himself and God. He was trying to make sense of his father’s suicide (unknown to us kids at the time). He was silently grappling with own failed professional career as a chiropractor and perhaps wrestling with the oncoming darkness of depression and alcoholism.He was searching for something sacred in an ordinary garden. What I thought was wasted space he knew was holy ground.
We are called to prepare our hearts for the coming of the Word of God into our lives of faith like my father organically prepared the soil of his garden. The Word is planted in us already if we can just stir up the earth a little and add a little compost. The incarnation of Christ is not just about Christmas. It’s about the continual coming and planting of the Word into our lives today. It’s about seeking the extraordinary in the midst of the ordinary.
We need the Incarnated Jesus. We need a walking, breathing, working-with-us Jesus. Otherwise, he remains a word on a page of old parchment, an unfulfilled promise, an old story that’s nice to listen to but never quite seems real. A scattered seed that was planted long ago but never really took root and grew and bore fruit.
In contemplating the Incarnation during these post-Christmas, cold and often-dark days of a Midwest winter, I come to see and appreciate how our human and earthly nature is quickened and sparked by the Divine, just as life begins to grow in the dark of the soil. Even in the depth of winter, we can begin to see life through that spring lens. We can see we are the soil where the Word of God grows and, over time, we can learn to recognize the holy when God puts it right before our eyes.
A Day and Night of Anticipation and Hope
Christmas Eve has always been my favorite day of the year. As a child, although Christmas morning brought presents around the tree, it was Christmas Eve that brought the emotion. Christmas Eve is about expectation, hope and promise.
Christmas Eve was the one night of the year that my sister, brother and I all slept in the same bed on the second story of our home in North St. Louis so (when we were very young) Santa could come and (later) so that our parents could put the gifts around the tree and make those all-important last-minute assemblies. It was our hope and the promise of the expected and desired that fueled our day and evening, our expectation and excitement that made it hard to sleep.
The historic and religious meaning of Christmas Eve and Day may not have been the foremost thoughts on our minds those days, of course, although a small manger scene always had a central place beneath our tree. Sometimes obscured by the pile of presents, it was always there as a still and silent reminder of the true and original gift of Christmas.
It’s easy to lose sight of the Christ-child with everything else that we sometimes put in the way. But sometime today or this evening, make sure your view is clear all the way back to a hovel on a backstreet of Bethlehem. Beyond the beauty of a perfectly decorated and glittering tree and a mountain of presents for those you love, imagine the expectation and desire of a young couple, both joyful and frightened at the thought of a birth they still could not fully understand. Imagine the wonder of shepherds and the worship of kings. Imagine a Creator who knew we needed him to be with us for a while. Imagine a savior born as helpless as a baby lamb. Imagine that he continues to come into our hearts even now, huddled together and awaiting a gift we still can’t quite fathom.
Love. Peace. Joy. In us and with us forever.
Merry Christmas.
Gathering Around the Fire
A Christmas Message and Video
For two thousand years, Christians have gathered around fires, in churches and in their homes to retell the story of the Incarnation and birth of Jesus Christ. They have passed on the good news to each other — and especially to their children — that God decided He needed to be with us, needed to become one of us.
We believe the story of the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem to be true history. But it’s also a powerful message for us still today. It challenges us to live differently because of Christ who now lives in and with us. We still need this Incarnated Jesus, just as God knew we would. We need a walking, breathing, working-with-us Jesus. Otherwise, he remains a word on a page of old parchment, an unfulfilled promise, an old story that’s nice to listen to but never quite seems real.
This Christmas, when the family gathers around the tree or the fire, make sure the story of Jesus doesn’t get lost in the piles of wrapping paper. Begin your celebration with the story that changed us forever.
Over the past several weeks, my musical collaborators (John Caravelli and Phil Cooper) and I gathered in my studio to write, arrange and record a new song that tells the story of Christmas and the Incarnation through the lens of John the Evangelist and the poetic and epic words of the first chapter of his gospel — “In the beginning was the Word…”
TO VIEW THE VIDEO, scroll down a little…or click here to go directly to YouTube.
Here are the lyrics:
From ancient days a story’s told
A message hopeful from the cold.
Around the fire, we huddle close
The Word of God — a child, chose.
Through this Word all things were made
Without this child, no light arrays.
In him was life and light for all
A light so bright that darkness falls.
The Word became flesh and moved into our lives
And the flesh became grace and saw through our disguise
The grace was a spark that lifted us higher
That dances and burns within us around the fire.
Still today, the Word remains
Alive each day, the kingdom reigns.
In all creation, all time and place
For every heart, a gift of grace.
Again we gather ‘round the fire
A family joined by God’s desire.
We celebrate that holy night
And live our way into the light.
The Word became flesh and moved into our lives
And the flesh became grace and saw through our disguise
The grace was a spark that lifted us higher
That dances and burns within us around the fire.
Around the Fire
Words and music by John Caravelli, Phil Cooper and Steve Givens
© 2022 Potter’s Mark Music
A Week of Indifference
I continued praying this past week with “Journey with Jesus,” Larry Warner’s guide through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola. The theme was “indifference,” in the Ignatian sense of the word, so let’s begin there…
— Although “indifference” is often used to speak of not caring about something or having a lack of passion, in this spiritual sense it carries a different (and deeper) meaning. When properly understood and embraced, it leads to a freedom to say yes to God and no to the things that lead us away from God. This indifference is a “detachment” from those kinds of desires. (Warner, p. 94)
— Or as Gerald May writes, it is a freedom not from desire but for desire: “An authentic spiritual understanding of detachment devalues neither desire nor the objects of desire. Instead, it aims at correcting one’s own anxious grasping in order to free one’s self for a committed relationship with God.”
— The opposite of indifference (for Ignatius) is a “disordered love” that would exert authority over individuals to such a degree that that they would be incapable of choosing to say yes to God and to God’s purpose for their lives. (Warner, p. 94)
A few more thoughts from my journal this week (I hope they challenge you as they did me):
— We all can recite (at the very least) the first verse of the 23rd Psalm: “The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I want.” But can we bring ourselves to really live that out? Are we content with the things we have (and have been given)? Paraphrasing Philippians 4:11-13):
Are we content and self-sufficient? This self-sufficiency doesn’t mean we can do and provide everything ourselves but, rather, that with God we have everything that we need. We can live humbly, and we can be comfortable with abundance, depending on what God gives us. Whether hungry or full-bellied, in abundance or in need, we have strength for everything through Christ who empowers us.
— As we look over our possessions and wealth (however meagre or grand), can we recognize them all as gift? Would we be able let go of them if they got in the way of our love of God and others? Would losing possessions and savings be the end of us or the beginning of something different?
— What do we worry about? What keeps us up at night? Those concerns reveal what is dearest to us, what we treasure in our hearts. Do we use these treasures to draw us closer to God and love others more completely, or are we just storing them up for another day and constantly worrying about losing them?
— “We cannot see things in perspective until we cease to hug them to our own bosom.” (Thomas Merton)
— Inspired by Psalm 63:1, Psalm 42:1-2, and Philippians 3:8
For you I long, yearn, thirst,
Like dry land in desperate need of water
Lifeless without you,
Desiring animation through you.
As the deer longs for a drink from a cool stream
[or as those elephants in African documentaries walk for hundreds of miles in the dry season]
So I desire you, Giver of life,
Are pulled toward you, somehow.
Everything else is temporary oasis is an ever-shifting desert.