Prayer

On the presence of God and the color purple

Steve · August 21, 2011 · 10 Comments

In my reading this morning for a class I begin next week, I read the following, which brought me up short because I had forgotten it, even though I read the book mentioned many years ago (and saw the movie):

In [Alice Walker’s novel] The Color Purple, the heroine, Celie, had never been introduced to any image of God other than the old white man with a beard, legalistic and authoritarian. Her friend Shug is much more awakened. Celie is astonished: she says to Shug, “You telling me God love you, and you ain’t never done anything for him? I mean, not go to church, sing in the choir, feed the preacher and all like that?” But Shug’s God is a lover who is “always wanting to share a good thing,” who is “pissed off if we walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.” (from The Art of Spiritual Guidance, Carolyn Gratton)

Your one wild and precious life

Steve · June 26, 2011 · 31 Comments

sunrise — Sunrise at Daytona, by Steve Givens, 2011

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?– Mary Oliver

As I have written previously, this summer I was scheduled to undergo a stem cell transplant to fight what had been diagnosed as myelodysplastic syndrome (see my postings from March 27, April 2 and April 13). This syndrome, which is all too close a cousin of leukemia, was caused by last summer’s chemotherapy treatments for another rare blood disease. Anyway…

The Road to Transplant: Embracing a New Paradox

Steve · March 27, 2011 · 25 Comments

Malaysian Doorway, photo by Steve Givens, 2011.

On February 24, a week and a few days after a bone marrow biopsy, I learned that I have a new, and more serious health condition than the one I have been battling over the past four years. In fact, it was the chemotherapy I received this past summer for that disease, called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH), that is the cause of my new health challenge. Against 99 to 1 odds, the chemo seriously damaged my bone barrow to the point where I have a condition called myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS, formerly known as “preleukemia”).

What I’ve been focused on the past few weeks is once again preparing myself to enter unknown territory. My spiritual journey into more than three years of on-again and off-again chemotherapy I chronicled in my book, “Embraced by God: Facing Chemotherapy with Faith.” Now I am facing the very real possibility that this syndrome (which I and most others have never heard of) will transform itself into leukemia, which everyone has heard of and is just about as scary a word as cancer. In any case, I am facing what I was told was the only possible long-term cure for the syndrome/leukemia — a stem cell transplant.

The Treasure Hunter

Steve · December 15, 2010 · 5 Comments

cross — Mission churchyard near Carmel, by Steve Givens

(a short story)

PART TWO

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Fr. James O’Shaughnessy was young, perhaps newly ordained, Tollers thought, and probably not well educated enough to hold his interest for long. Seminary educations were not what they used to be. In his day priests were renaissance men with sound groundings in several languages, literature and history, in addition to philosophy and theology. But you never know, Tollers thought to himself, he might be good for an hour or two of harmless conversation. They sat across from each other at the small oak table in the middle of Tollers’ tiny dining room, just in front of a large bay window that looked out over the lake. Tollers had set out some cheese, crackers and fruit for a light lunch.

[Read more…] about The Treasure Hunter

Advent Week 2: Just what are we waiting for?

Steve · December 5, 2010 · 3 Comments

Natural Light — Carmel Mission Light, photo by Steve Givens

Everybody knows that Advent is a time when we wait and prepare for the coming of Jesus at Christmas. That’s what we’ve been taught since childhood. But what does it really mean to us today if, in fact, we believe that Jesus is already here, moving and working among us? Just what are we waiting and preparing for?

What we should be preparing for is Christ’s birth (or rebirth) in us. So this year, in the midst of all the preparations for Christmas, make Advent a time for seeking God’s will. Like wise men and shepherds drawn to a manger in Bethlehem, seek out and find Jesus in your life, then seek out and discern God’s will for your life. Instead of planning for New Year’s resolutions that will disappear as quickly as dried-out Christmas trees, plan for a new year and a new life in which Christ is at the very core.

We sometimes find ourselves waiting for God to act in our lives. We pray: “Please, God, do this and then I’ll be able to do that.” But praying this way, instead of empowering us to action, often paralyzes us from doing anything at all. We sit and wait for God to act or respond, when all the time we are forgetting what God has already given.

We come to each new day with a body inherited from our parents and strengthened (or weakened) by our lives and activities. We come with an intellect that has developed through years of education and experience. But whatever the strengths or weaknesses of our bodies and minds, when God the potter applies His hand we become so much more. We become a work of art ready to proclaim the glory of the artist. Our only role in this transformation process is to allow ourselves to be shaped. To do this, we must give in to the will of the Creator. We must allow God to be a part of every decision that we make. We must place all of our important decisions in God’s hands. We must live our lives so people can see Christ in us. And there’s no better time to start than right now, during this season of preparing and waiting.

Our ultimate profession of faith is our ability to proclaim with each new day: “I’m yours, Lord. Do what you want with me.”