There’s an old story, attributed to the Curé d’Ars (St. John Vianney) that tells about an elderly man who enters his parish church everyday, sits for a while in silence, and then leaves. One day the parish priest (the future saint) asks him about what he does everyday. The man replies simply: “I look at God, God looks at me, and we enjoy one another.” I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a more clear and instructive description of prayer.
I think sometimes we try to make prayer more difficult or complex than it really is. There is no right way to pray, of course, and what may work for one person might be as dry as a desert for another. We can say the prayers we learned as children that have been etched into our brains and souls. We can recall favorite passages of scripture or poetry. We can just talk to God about what’s going on in our lives. Or, like the old man in the church at Ars, we can just sit with God and enjoy the company.
Many talk about being “filled” by God in prayer and that can be an apt description of what can happen in prayer. But here’s the problem: If we’re too full of ourselves and our busy lives, there’s just no room for God. So we have to empty ourselves. We have to get out of our own way and make some room for God.
My friend (a pen pal, actually), Sr. Immaculata, is an 89-year-old Sister of St. Joseph from Sault Ste. Marie in Ontario. She has spent her life in prayer and service, including teaching piano to children, which she still does. She wrote me a note just this past week and included this quote from the great mystic, St. Teresa of Avila: “There is no stage of prayer so sublime that it isn’t necessary to return often to the beginning.” Sr. Immaculata added: “That’s where I am right now and very happy to be there as I find the Lord being very gentle with me.” At 89, she says she needs to “keep working for a closer relationship with God.” Even now, she’s not afraid of or concerned with the idea of starting over. That’s a prayer in itself.
Returning to the beginning, I think, is about placing ourselves in the presence of God and then making room for him. Like an old married couple, it’s sitting before the fire together that means so much, not the words that are spoken or left unsaid.
Here’s a relatively new song I wrote with all this in mind. It’s called “Empty Myself.” Click on the link below to hear the song. There’s a bit of a gap before the music starts…be patient.
In the morning as the light breaks
I rise to face another day.
All my worries, all the distance
All the ways I fail to say:
I am filled to the brim…
I am filled to the brim…
In the silence, in your presence
I bring you all I have and hold.
All my loves and all that glitters,
All my gifts and dreams of gold.
I am filled to the brim…
I am filled to the brim…
So I empty myself.
Empty myself. Empty myself.
And I pray…fill me up.
In the evening as the day fades
I stop and try to find your gaze.
I look at you and you look to me.
I see beyond my mindless haze.
I am filled to the brim…
I am filled to the brim…
So I empty myself.
Empty myself. Empty myself.
And I pray…fill me up.
\”Empty Myself,\” by Steve Givens
“Empty Myself,” words & music by Steve Givens, copyright 2009, Potter’s Mark Music. Recorded by Nathanael’s Creed.