faith

Standing at thresholds and forks in the road

Steve · April 2, 2011 · 16 Comments

Way Leads Upon Way. Temple doorways in Malaysia. Photo by Steve Givens, 2011.

If we live our lives well (at least this is the way I define “well”) then we live not in numbness and lethargy and apathy, but fully alive and feeling, aware of the sacred around us, and with an ongoing commitment to living an examined life — one centered on the presence of God, the teachings of Christ, and the power of the individual to change the world in some way, however small. And if we live that way, we should often find ourselves standing at metaphorical thresholds and forks in the road wondering which way to move, for there should always be choices to be made. A life lived well should never be lived on autopilot. To me, the worst kind of life would be one where I felt I had no options.

So here I stand on the threshold of so many decisions and life choices, as well as facing some health challenges and life changes over which I have little or no control, at least on the surface. Of course, we all have choices to make, even if the choice is about how we accept those things that have been thrust upon us.

The Road to Transplant: Embracing a New Paradox

Steve · March 27, 2011 · 25 Comments

Malaysian Doorway, photo by Steve Givens, 2011.

On February 24, a week and a few days after a bone marrow biopsy, I learned that I have a new, and more serious health condition than the one I have been battling over the past four years. In fact, it was the chemotherapy I received this past summer for that disease, called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH), that is the cause of my new health challenge. Against 99 to 1 odds, the chemo seriously damaged my bone barrow to the point where I have a condition called myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS, formerly known as “preleukemia”).

What I’ve been focused on the past few weeks is once again preparing myself to enter unknown territory. My spiritual journey into more than three years of on-again and off-again chemotherapy I chronicled in my book, “Embraced by God: Facing Chemotherapy with Faith.” Now I am facing the very real possibility that this syndrome (which I and most others have never heard of) will transform itself into leukemia, which everyone has heard of and is just about as scary a word as cancer. In any case, I am facing what I was told was the only possible long-term cure for the syndrome/leukemia — a stem cell transplant.

A Simple Gift

Steve · December 25, 2010 · 1 Comment

candle — Light from the Grotto, by Steve Givens

The lights of the City of David shine

As a single star pierces the night.

Restless within her a miracle waits,

Incarnation of holiest light.

But how can this be?

That an angel came down from above?

Are there gifts so precious they must be passed on? Are there gifts as simple as love?

[Read more…] about A Simple Gift

The Treasure Hunter

Steve · December 15, 2010 · 5 Comments

cross — Mission churchyard near Carmel, by Steve Givens

(a short story)

PART TWO

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Fr. James O’Shaughnessy was young, perhaps newly ordained, Tollers thought, and probably not well educated enough to hold his interest for long. Seminary educations were not what they used to be. In his day priests were renaissance men with sound groundings in several languages, literature and history, in addition to philosophy and theology. But you never know, Tollers thought to himself, he might be good for an hour or two of harmless conversation. They sat across from each other at the small oak table in the middle of Tollers’ tiny dining room, just in front of a large bay window that looked out over the lake. Tollers had set out some cheese, crackers and fruit for a light lunch.

[Read more…] about The Treasure Hunter

The Treasure Hunter

Steve · December 14, 2010 · 7 Comments

Lake Sahdow — Lake Shadow self portrait, Steve Givens

(a short story) PART ONE

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Professor Arthur Tollers was walking along the gravel beach of Raccoon Cove when he heard a faint beep. He stopped in his tracks, backed up a step and waved his metal detector wand once again over the spot where he had heard the electronic tone. He stooped, with a groan, and poked around in the gravel until the tone became loud and consistent. He turned over two or three small stones and then he saw it. Treasure! He pocketed the quarter and resumed his Saturday morning walk along the beach.

Six months ago, Tollers had retired from St. Francis College in southern Missouri, a small, Catholic [Read more…] about The Treasure Hunter