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Steve

My Soundtrack: Seize the Day

Steve · January 11, 2010 · 2 Comments

[an occasional series of essays about life, spirit, and the music that makes up the soundtrack of my life]

The Power of a Song, photo by Steve Givens, Nicaragua, 2009.

Seize the day, seize whatever you can
‘Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand.
Seize the day, pray for grace from God’s hand.
Then nothing will stand in your way…seize the day.

–singer-songwriter Carolyn Arends

The Latin phrase carpe diem, perhaps made most famous during modern times in the movie “Dead Poet’s Society,” has been around much longer, dating back to a poem by Horace (65 BC – 8 BC).  It is usually expressed in English as “seize the day,” although its literal translation is perhaps closer to “pluck the day” or “pick the day,” as in gathering flowers.  A nice image.

Some choose “carpe diem” as a life philosophy and live the proverbial “eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die,” which indeed appears to perhaps be Horace’s original meaning. In the name of this carpe diem some get in touch with the darkest part of themselves, engaging in often self-destructive behavior.  But there’s more to carpe diem than this. There’s more than one way to seize the day.

Take, for example, the characters who reside within Carolyn Arends‘ song, “Seize the Day,” who live their lives by seizing all that God is offering them. They live day to day by seizing the opportunities to do creative and charitable things. One person writes poems and novels; one works in an African clinic and “writes home to the cynics”; another is an older man, an alcoholic, who laments that he never learned what it truly means to seize day and now fears that it’s too late. Finally, there is Arends herself, who triumphantly announces that, throughout her travels as a performer, she has noticed: “Everyone’s got a dream they can follow or squander/You can do what you will with the days you are given/I’m trying to spend mine on the business of living.”

About a year after being diagnosed with my rare blood disease, I was given the opportunity to accompany my church’s youth group on a service trip to Nicaragua through an organization called “Amigos for Christ” that helps builds houses and entire communities for the poor of one of Latin America’s poorest countries. I knew we were only going for a week and I knew we wouldn’t change the world much for the people of the villages where we worked in the northern part of the country. But what I didn’t know was that – working in the shadow of mountains and volcanoes that loom so large over these villages — I would learn so clearly about the courage and fortitude of a community of people who have been dealt a pretty raw deal in life. I learned that they cared about many of the same things that any of us care about and that, when it comes right down to it, we all need food, warmth, friends and a place to call home.

I also learned that I was no longer strong enough to carry a 90-pound bag of cement very far and that I didn’t have the same amount of energy for digging ditches and lugging buckets of concrete and gravel that others had. I learned that there are wonderful young people who gladly stepped forward to take my spot on some of the tougher chores and that a ten-year-old boy from the village could shovel and carry faster than I could.

I learned that I could play with a young orphaned boy with cerebral palsy and get absolutely nothing – not even a smile – in return. I learned that I could read Spanish well enough to entertain a group of kids, even if part of the entertainment, I figured out, was them laughing at my poor Spanish skills. I learned that we could play games without having to have a winner and that people have immense pride in a home that they helped build, even if that home was smaller and simpler than my garage.

So I may not have changed their world in a meaningful way, but I know that together we made a difference and I know I changed my own life and way of thinking about the world. I know the village is just that much closer to having a new school because 40 of us worked for a week lifting and pouring and carrying. I know I made a difference because some kids in a small village in Nicaragua now believe there are people in the United States who know about them and can call them by name. I know I made a difference because I dared to take a risk and change my own world by moving outside my comfort zone.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what we do, how much we give or how far we travel to do it. What matters is that we give of ourselves whether we’re a healthy and strong 20-year-old or a 50-year-old with a rare blood disease who receives chemotherapy every three weeks.

I may be able to go back next year or I may not. That doesn’t matter. I’ve learned to seize the day like a child who picks a flower for no other reason than its beauty. We can change the world. We can help a child. We can help build a village or raise our own kids and teach them well. We can write a song or a poem or a novel.  We can fight our demons, our fears and our addictions. And there’s no reason to wait. As Anne Frank once wrote, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

Don’t wait a single moment. Find your place. Focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Do what you can instead of wallowing in what you cannot. Respond to the call to serve. Seize the day.

Me and mi amigo, Nicaragua, 2009.

My Soundtrack: Bright Eyes

Steve · January 4, 2010 · 4 Comments

[an occasional series of essays about life, spirit, and the music that makes up the soundtrack of my life]

Bright Eyes in Nicaragua. Photo by Steve Givens, 2009

Bright eyes, burning like fire.
Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.

—Mike Batt, recorded by Art Garfunkel

Not long ago on an oldies station, I once again heard this beautiful ballad, which was originally written by British songwriter Mike Batt and recorded by Art Garfunkel for the 1978 animated movie, “Watership Down,” the movie that taught us all how incredibly brutal cute little bunny rabbits can be to each other. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go rent the movie or, better yet, go read Richard Adams’ novel upon which the movie was based. Good stuff. Not really for kids.

Anyway…short story very long…the song just got me thinking about what it means to be kind and supportive to one another (unlike the bunnies) and how important it is to have bright eyes. Follow me…

Novelist Toni Morrison (“Beloved,” “Song of Solomon,” “Jazz”) was once asked how she became a great writer. She responded, “I am a great writer because when I was a little girl and walked into a room where my father was sitting, his eyes would light up. That is why I am a great writer.”

Are you with me? People become great—they have the confidence to do great things—because they know they are loved and accepted by the people that mean the most to them. We can see it in their eyes. What a great lesson in parenting and friendship.

There is perhaps no greater gift that we can give our children and our friends than our attention and our joy at seeing them and relishing in their dreams and achievements. They need to see our eyes sparkle when they enter a room. We enable and encourage others to seek after greatness by letting them know that we believe they can accomplish whatever it is they hold to be important. Never underestimate the power you possess to help others by just valuing them.

So smile at someone you love and cherish today. Let them know by your words and your bright eyes that you honor and value them. Ask them about their life, their dreams, and their plans for the future. Let them talk. Don’t talk about yourself (I always need to remember that…) And smile — bright-eyed and burning like fire. There’s just not enough of that going around.

"An Encouraging Glance," in Villa Catalina, Nicaragua. Photo by Steve Givens, 2009.

A Light in Darkness (A Christmas villanelle)

Steve · December 23, 2009 · 3 Comments

Merry Christmas from me, Sue and Santa.

Here’s a villanelle I wrote a few years ago to celebrate the joy and the promise of Christmas. It appears as a spoken-word poem with original music by Phil Cooper on Nathanael’s Creed’s new Christmas CD, “Home Again with You.”

Merry Christmas…

A light in darkness fights off the cold
thrust into the world yet of its own making.
The new life is fragile but the message is bold.

A gentle king, as the prophets foretold,
stirs in the straw and yawns in his waking.
A light in darkness fights off the cold.

A star from the East beckons prophecies old,
the expanse between heaven and Earth is breaking.
The new life is fragile but the message is bold.

In this child a mystery will unfold,
for wise men there is no mistaking.
A light in darkness fights off the cold.

The angels proclaim what shepherds behold,
for this night the whole world is aching.
The new life is fragile but the message is bold.

A gift from on high more precious than gold,
a life that brings life for the taking.
A light in darkness fights off the cold,
the new life is fragile but the message is bold.

Taking on the Black Hill of Death

Steve · December 19, 2009 · 2 Comments

Me, Jon and Jess, at the foot of Cerro Negro before the climb.

This past summer, I accompanied my parish youth group on a one-week mission trip to Nicaragua, where we helped build homes and a school near the northern city of Chinendega. But first, we were told that we were going to climb Cerro Negro, a 2,400-foot high volcano that had last erupted about a decade ago. When we arrived at the site, dubbed (jokingly, I hoped) the “black hill of death,” I stood in awe of the giant black formation. I wondered, and even doubted, if I could climb to the top along a narrow path among the jagged rocks and boulders and then make my way down the smooth slope of the other side of the hill that was covered with foot-deep volcanic gravel. I knew, of course, that I had an easy out. I could say that I just didn’t feel up to it and no one would question me. But I decided to go for it.

I thought it might be tough, but I wasn’t ready for just how tough it was. I stopped often along the way to catch my breath and gather the strength and will to go on. When I reached the top of the first winding and difficult path that led to another narrow path that shot straight along the crest of the volcano, my heart fell when I realized how much I had left to do. But I put one foot in front of the other, I put my head down and just walked, and with time I found myself standing at the highest point of the volcano.

My good buddy, Larry, takes a break on the way up Cerro Negro. Photo by Steve Givens

The pay off was great. The views were spectacular, and I got to share the accomplishment with the others in the group, including my son, Jon, and his girlfriend, Jess. We cheered on those who were still making their way up. We shared stories of the ascent and a simple meal of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We took photos of each other rejoicing at our accomplishment. And then we headed down – a joyous descent, sliding and jumping through the loose volcanic gravel in minutes and making the multi-hour ascent a mere memory.

I learned a lot about myself that day. I learned I could do more than I thought I could. I learned the power of “one step at a time” and I remembered my high school coaches’ encouragement to get past a little bit of hurt by “walking it off.” But for me, this day was about much more than walking or physical strength.

I rediscovered an inner strength that I know comes from God. I reconnected with the idea that we are called to take care of our bodies because they are the temples of the Holy Spirit. I’m not going to become a marathon runner any time soon, but my experience on Cerro Negro, along with the intense physical labor of the rest of the week, awakened in me a need to both push myself a little physically (as my body with its disease will allow, of course) and, more importantly, to learn to call upon God as the source of my strength.

Me and Jon at the top of Cerro Negro

So when I just can’t do it, or when I am winded or fall, the greatest blessing is knowing that I have a God who sees me in my weakness, who knows me by name, and who picks me up and carries me the rest of the way. I am not ashamed of my weakness, for it is just an outward sign that there is still healing to be done inside me.

Looking "into" Cerro Negro.

Emptying ourselves to make room for God

Steve · December 13, 2009 · 4 Comments

In the grotto at the University of Notre Dame, South Bend. Photo by Steve Givens

There’s an old story, attributed to the Curé d’Ars (St. John Vianney) that tells about an elderly man who enters his parish church everyday, sits for a while in silence, and then leaves. One day the parish priest (the future saint) asks him about what he does everyday. The man replies simply: “I look at God, God looks at me, and we enjoy one another.” I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a more clear and instructive description of prayer.

I think sometimes we try to make prayer more difficult or complex than it really is. There is no right way to pray, of course, and what may work for one person might be as dry as a desert for another. We can say the prayers we learned as children that have been etched into our brains and souls. We can recall favorite passages of scripture or poetry. We can just talk to God about what’s going on in our lives. Or, like the old man in the church at Ars, we can just sit with God and enjoy the company.

Many talk about being “filled” by God in prayer and that can be an apt description of what can happen in prayer. But here’s the problem: If we’re too full of ourselves and our busy lives, there’s just no room for God. So we have to empty ourselves. We have to get out of our own way and make some room for God.

My friend (a pen pal, actually), Sr. Immaculata, is an 89-year-old Sister of St. Joseph from Sault Ste. Marie in Ontario. She has spent her life in prayer and service, including teaching piano to children, which she still does. She wrote me a note just this past week and included this quote from the great mystic, St. Teresa of Avila: “There is no stage of prayer so sublime that it isn’t necessary to return often to the beginning.” Sr. Immaculata added: “That’s where I am right now and very happy to be there as I find the Lord being very gentle with me.” At 89, she says she needs to “keep working for a closer relationship with God.”  Even now, she’s not afraid of or concerned with the idea of starting over. That’s a prayer in itself.

Returning to the beginning, I think, is about placing ourselves in the presence of God and then making room for him. Like an old married couple, it’s sitting before the fire together that means so much, not the words that are spoken or left unsaid.

Here’s a relatively new song I wrote with all this in mind. It’s called “Empty Myself.” Click  on the link below to hear the song. There’s a bit of a gap before the music starts…be patient.

Self-portrait in the Ozark sun, 2009. Photo by Steve Givens

In the morning as the light breaks
I rise to face another day.
All my worries, all the distance
All the ways I fail to say:
I am filled to the brim…
I am filled to the brim…

In the silence, in your presence
I bring you all I have and hold.
All my loves and all that glitters,
All my gifts and dreams of gold.
I am filled to the brim…
I am filled to the brim…

So I empty myself.
Empty myself. Empty myself.
And I pray…fill me up.

In the evening as the day fades
I stop and try to find your gaze.
I look at you and you look to me.
I see beyond my mindless haze.
I am filled to the brim…
I am filled to the brim…

So I empty myself.
Empty myself. Empty myself.
And I pray…fill me up.

\”Empty Myself,\” by Steve Givens

“Empty Myself,” words & music by Steve Givens, copyright 2009, Potter’s Mark Music. Recorded by Nathanael’s Creed.

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Steve Givens is a retreat and spiritual director and a widely published writer on issues of faith and spirituality. He is also a musician, composer and singer who lives in St. Louis, Mo., with his wife, Sue. They have two grown and married children and five grandchildren.

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