Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?– Mary Oliver
As I have written previously, this summer I was scheduled to undergo a stem cell transplant to fight what had been diagnosed as myelodysplastic syndrome (see my postings from March 27, April 2 and April 13). This syndrome, which is all too close a cousin of leukemia, was caused by last summer’s chemotherapy treatments for another rare blood disease. Anyway…
Less than a month before I was scheduled to enter the hospital to begin more chemo to prepare myself to receive the stem cells from my sister, my doctor decided that my body (more specifically my bone marrow) had somehow rebounded on its own. She had never seen anything like this happen before, she said. The markers for the disease had all been there, and without the transplant the syndrome would become leukemia and then I’d really have a battle on my hands.
There is, of course, a scientific and medical explanation, of sorts, as to how this all came to fix itself. But I also know the power of prayer and believe fully in the ability of God to move and work (and heal) in our lives. I know how many people and congregations of people had been praying for me over the past months. I believe in that power, and I am incredibly grateful for all those who have given me time and consideration during their conversations with God.
But to be truthful, I sometimes have a hard time believing in miracles and answered prayers, especially those that involve me. Why, I ask myself, would God choose to listen and respond to prayers about middle-aged me and my little health problems when there are so many, many others prayers calling out for attention and healing? There are children dying in modern hospitals as well as in the arms of their mothers in underdeveloped countries with no ready access to medical care. There are nations at war and those held in the grips of despots. There are women trapped in sexual slavery crying out for release. Who am I, in a world filled with all these prayers and millions more, that God is mindful of me? (to paraphrase Psalm 8:4)
To be clear, I do not doubt with the same kind of contemptuous questions that atheist author Richard Dawkins asks in his book, “The God Delusion”: “Why should a divine being with creation and eternity on his mind, care a fig for petty human malefactions?”
I stand in awe and faith and worship of this divine creator. But nevertheless, I struggle with the idea of God actually reaching out and touching little ole me, filled as I am with a deep sense of my own unworthiness for such healing. But, I suppose, it’s an unanswerable question that calls for faith and “sacred ambiguity,” as author Kathleen Norris once described her faith. I don’t understand it all and yet I believe. I can’t prove it and yet I have faith. Call me a fool and I shall wear my clown suit with pride and courage. That’s better than shrinking back into fear and dark unknowing.
Whether I have been healed by God through the power of prayer or through the natural reactions of my God-gifted body, I am – for now anyway – healed. Whatever the outcome, I have been healed, for I am at peace.
So for me the question remains the one posed at the top of this reflection by the great New England naturalist poet Mary Oliver, as it should for everyone, regardless of health or healing: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
This is not a question to be answered once before you graduate from college or otherwise embark on a career. This is a question to be answered daily as a vocation unto itself. What will you do today with your one wild and precious life? What will you do during the next year or the next ten with your one wild and precious life?
What?
31 comments On Your one wild and precious life
GOD IS SOOOOOO GOOD. PRAYERS OF GODS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN IN THE MAKING.
Thanks for your postings. They are so appreciated. Praise God for His healing hand upon you. My husband (Sandy) is currently being treated for CMML leukemia. It has similar symptoms of MDS. It is chronic and eventually he will be undergoing stem cell transplant. That is, unless God chooses to heal him too. In the meantime, we are partnering with an excellent cancer medical facility along with being open to God’s healing hand. Thanks again for your insights and encouragement online and in your books.
Thanks for your good thoughts and prayers, Sherry, and thanks for sharing your and Sandy’s story. I am thankful for the excellent cancer center and doctors that have served me so well, too. I know that God works through these people every day, whether they know it or not!
I am happy for you Steve. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I will continue to read your posts.
Onward – Do what we can – Love & Love (and then, love some more . . )
-g-
Glad to hear that news, Steve!
That is such good news for you and your family. Whether from your body healing or from God’s “poke”, it is wonderful to behold. Who knows how many hearts you will awaken today or tomorrow with your writings–that’s a good life’s work in itself
Steve, I do believe in miracles and there is no doubt in my mind that God has great plans for you. You are a very special person and your sharing can only be a blessing to others that suffer from disease and cancer and all the other problems that would seem to be hopeless without God’s healing hand. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, Gene. It’s great to hear from you, and I appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers.
Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your taking the time to write…
Thanks, Deb!
Thanks, Georgy. So glad to have you as a friend…
What an absolutely wonderful birthday gift (for me, June 26!!), and a new rebirth for you too Steve. When God created you he blessed a lot of people, thank you from one of them!! I believe! I am praying daily for my cousin who is battle cancer, I KNOW that God can heal her, if not physically then spiritually, and we are both at peace about that. Thanks again. Happy July 4th to you and your family!
Thanks, Rosemary. What nice comments, and you share a birthday with my father, who is now deceased…I’ll add you cousin to my prayers. What’s her name?
Praise God for your miracle. He must want you to continue to write and inspire us.I enjoy reading your reflections in the living word. I ask you now if you can to please pray for my young cousin Ali who is battling a very aggressive Cancer and needs your prayers tonight to fight and believe in a miracle too. She is a wife, and mother to an 8 month old. Please pray , thanks so much Steve for all you do to help us grow spirtually and to love the Lord more each day.
Thank you for your kind words, Diane. I will pray for Ali tonight. God bless you and your family.
Steve, I pray for you daily. In all the situations of my life, that I can’t do anything about I just PRAY!! It works…stay positive. Kay
Thanks, Kay. I really appreciate and treasure your prayers. All’s well right now…
Your quote by Mary Oliver is what my 16 year old son lives by! When I suggested he get a summer job his response was ” mom, God only gives us one life to live, and I don’t think He wants me to work all summer!” How can I argue with that?
Live Today!
I guess it’s all in the interpretation! I’m not all that wise, but I have learned not to argue with a 16-year-old…I guess he’ll learn the way we all did: When he wants something he can’t afford…or that girl comes along! Good luck and thanks for writing.
Through Living Faith this many years, your wisdom continues to inspire me. The Lord be with you and your trials of life….And I see, the “fruit doesn’t fall ar from the tree.”. May your Son and his future family continue in your footsteps. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thanks for writing, Dorothy. I’ve really been blessed all these years to write for Living Faith, and even more blessed by my family.P
Steve, I happened across this site today, July 11, 2011. Thank you for all that you offer and share here. I am moved by the healing you have experienced. My dad was diagnosed with MDS (myelodysplastic syndrome) at age 72. I understand a little of your journey. Unfortunately he did not experience the healing he/we had hoped for. So I rejoice in hearing your news that you have been healed! Continued blessings to you!
Thank you, Anthony, for taking the time to write. I am sorry for your loss. It’s a tough disease to deal with, especially when you’re older, I guess. But that, of course, doesn’t make the loss any easier. All my best and prayers to you and your family.
Steve
Hi Steve,
Glad to hear your wonderful news!!! God is so good! I have a question for you and your band. We are starting to plan next RCIA year and we wondered if you were available to come on February 23rd and help us introduce Lent in royal style.
Thanks for everything.
Love & Peace,
Debbie
Steve, such good news! Thanks be to God! Miracles are all around us and we are blessed! We know all things are possible with God, it is his timing we may not understand, sometimes. Our prayers are never on deaf ears, though.
Your words are a constant inspiration to so many of us and I look forward to your writings each month in Living Faith. What a gift from God you are! Please keep me in your prayers as I face anothr surgery next month. With gratitude and continued prayer for you and your family, Kathleen
G’day Steve .
Just before I left home this morning for my second dose of (Palliative) chemo, both your new post and an email from a priest friend in the US arrived. He did not know I was having treatment at all, let alone today. I’m afraid the ice hockey details in your post left me cold, but one line from my friend spoke across our trans-cultural gap : “May He make his presence felt this day and in every one of your present moments.” What a score that line was!
Thanks for your stimulus and help.
John, Sydney, Australia
John:
God bless you today. I’m a big believer in the idea that God gives us the right things to read and the right people in our lives, right when we need them most. What you needed most today was obviously not my hockey tale, but look how your friend (and God) came through for you. Good luck today. I hope it goes well and that your body deals as well as it can with today’s treatment.
Hi Steve sorry for the long delay. Thank you for adding my cousin to your prayer list, her name is “Laura”. We just visited with her and her husband. She has surpassed the “couple of months” the doctors had given her! I pray that she will “life until she dies”
Steve,
When God reached out and touched you, He also reached out and touched all of us who have been praying for you. Answered prayers bless not only the person who was being prayed for, but also those who are praying.
Suzanne
Thanks, Suzanne. Wonderful, insightful thoughts…
Steve